When I was a child and even into my 20’s I desired to be who everyone else wanted me to be. I’d dress like everyone else. Talk like everyone else. Act like everyone else. I even morphed my laugh to laugh like everyone else (the cute girly giggle). Never ever truly liking myself at all.
Now nearly 36 years old I have finally arrived at liking the real me. Who God created me to be. Not the world-influenced version of me.
2017 became the year to learn how to like and love myself. Hard task after abuse and heavy let downs in life.
Undergoing a new transformation inside and out took place in Celebrate Recovery (12 Step Recovery Program). I needed to address some very deep wounds in order to get to where I am today.
I have not arrived. I guess I am merely beginning.
I no longer “care” about pleasing others. I no longer “care” about being their rescuer or their source of strength. I no longer dwell in the land of co-dependency. That in itself was the biggest hurdle.
The real Karen is:
-Extrovert at times
-Enjoys the boring lifestyle
-Enjoys being with family than anyone else
-Deep and contemplative
-Joyful and youthful
-Crafty and Organized
-Even-Keel (not easily given into emotional waves)
-Naturally pretty (wavy hair, make-up free)
-Enjoys being home rather than out
-Overcomer vs. Victim
-Enjoys positive words by others
-Repelled by negative words by others
-Love simplicity: cooking real meals, gardening, housewife
Our family motto is “Let’s be a boring family”.
Not in the sense that we are a boring family. But we gravitate (on purpose) to the drama-free, the simple, our home is a refuge lifestyle.
We don’t overwhelm our schedules with running here and running there. Soccer practice, ballet, swim, tennis lessons, baseball, basketball, footfall, choir, band, church, church gatherings, work, travels, guys night out, girls night out, shopping, etc…
Not that any of those things are bad. Just doing them all at the same time is.
We choose one activity to be involved in. Right now our son is in swimming. That’s enough. (Besides church of course).
I think we live too much in a “have a full schedule” world that we loose focus of us.
When I was in my 20’s I craved a full schedule. Every day something. Every evening something. I was involved in every ministry possible. Every meeting, every gathering. I was there. I realized one day that I only felt self-value when people needed me. When my schedule was full.
WHAT A LIE!
I had value even if I had nothing planned for my entire week! I didn’t need a busy calendar to make me feel cherished.
For our family, it is like a vacation everyday.
Not that there aren’t bumps in the road (goodness our family has been put through the ringer) but at least we embrace mental, physical, emotional, social, and spiritual health.
For many of you who are chronically alone in your home, this may not be the right thing for you. You are already too home-bound. Get out. Explore. Have real face time with people. Get off of social media and get out there and actually “be” social. Go for a walk. Have coffee or a meal with a friend. Make new friends. Get signed up for classes you might enjoy. Serve at a church service. Be present in life.
As for our family, we daily try to walk in the Fruit of the Spirit (and not walk in the ways of the flesh).
Galatians 5:22-23 says “22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control….”
Who is the real you? What are you like?
Are you living for others? Or are you learning to embrace the real you?
You should not be like me just as I should not be like you.
I would be a real jerk if I told you to do things my way. How foolish!
So what works best for you? What do you need to change in order to be “happier, healthier, and free from stress”? Do you need to cut out some activities? Do you need to get off social media? Do you need to get out of the house more?
Be real. Be you.
As for me, I am giving myself permission to not blog everyday…this pregnant mommy needs rest and lots of it! ♥
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